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sixteen (ft. erin lenau)

from between lovers ep by opulent ardor

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lyrics

all of our dreams
they die so hard
no hope in letting go

after they're gone
we carry on
still weighed down by their ghosts

listless and numb
still staggering
working hard to forget

making the best
of what we own
swallowing grief and regret

when i was sixteen
i dreamt the perfect love
just enough to get me through
thirteen years on
i'm not so sure
that dream will ever come true

how long must i keep holding out for you?

most days
it's hard enough just to say,
"it will all be alright"

ten years of loss
ten years of drink
no grace and no respite

hard hearted
vacant and worn
ever changing mental state

but if you promise
you're coming soon
i will do my best to wait

when i was sixteen
i dreamt the perfect love
just enough to get me through
but thirteen years on
and i'm not so sure
that dream will ever come true

oh i swear that i will keep hanging on for you

your pallid white skin
and the warm lamp light
your pine pitch hair
on some balmy night

the empty hours
of the wasted days
your mother's wet hands
and her fading grace

still making eyes
from across the room
a child's knee
an open wound

my fucked up head
your cool nurse's touch
my tired sullen ways
you say i think too much

oh i am waiting here for you

the grocery stores
lit by fluorescent lights
your disarming smile
wins the little fights

i hold onto my grief
will never let it go
i need to feel awful
so i can be whole

oh i am waiting here for you

making bright white love
fucking endlessly
your fragile cries
hang like smoke in the trees

i hardly talk
but you always know what i mean
when i'm driving silent
that's my father in me

oh i am waiting here for you

i keep my mistakes
on my nightstand
grip them everyday
like stones in my hand

i'd carve your name
right into my face
your fervid body
hung with lace

oh i am waiting here for you

i could float here forever
just us in this space
no doubt and no worry
held buoyant in grace

your voice is a cello
carrying me to bed
a calm and cool drone
stops all the fuck in my head

oh i am waiting here for you

the cool air from the waves
you brush the hair from your eye
the peak of my existence
after this i can die

our daughter's feet
my mother's care
an open casket funeral
read as a deity's dare

oh i am waiting here for you

there is no way
this won't end in pain
and i know that when it does
i will be to blame

i will be to blame

credits

from between lovers ep, released March 26, 2018

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opulent ardor Grand Rapids, Michigan

Empty salons. Corridors. Salons. Doors. Doors. Salons. Empty chairs, deep armchairs, thick carpets. Heavy hangings. Stairs, steps. Steps, one after the other. Glass objects, objects still intact, empty glasses. A glass that falls, three, two, one, zero. Glass partition, letters. ... more

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